Koda, Bo (my mom's dog), Rizz, and Bruno (my sis's dog)Koda is so wonderful with my children, they adore him..........as do I.
My First Baby
If you are not a dog person, you might not get the following:
A person is either a dog person, a cat person, or neither. I am a dog person, always have been. Since I was a little girl, my best buddies have been my dogs. First, there was Dandy who would walk me to the bus stop and be waiting there when I got home from school to walk me home. We did everything together. Then there was Rallie, my dog through high school. She became my parents dog when I moved out, but I loved her fiesty old self just the same. And then there was my first baby, Dakota..........more lovingly called Koda, Kode, or Bubba. Koda and I found each other 5 years ago, pre-married life. He was my family. I thought he would make a great protector, but I usually end up protecting him. He is a lover, not a fighter. Kode was a rescue dog and came to me quite beaten down and afraid of most things, including men. I loved him for all of his little crazy antics, (well maybe not the whining). It was Koda that first made me take good notice of Rizz. The first time Koda met Rizz, he licked his face off.
Now why do I go into all of this....especially before I move.......I wanted to make sure that in my journaling, I documented how much I love my Koda Bear. He has been by my side, literally for the past 5 years. Whenever I am in a room, he comes into the room, (yes, bathroom too). He knows when I am sad and comes and licks my cheek, he LOVES to play outside and especially to hike. Koda and I have had many quiet moments sitting atop a mountain. I LOVE that he loves (well tolerates my children). His only defense is to lick them to death. Koda's only goal in life is to please those that he loves...........what a gaping hole this will leave; you see Koda has been diagnosed with lymphoma. I am not sure how much longer he has to live, but each day I get so sad at the thought of not having him by my side, not being able to look in the rear view mirror and see his goofy head, not being able to cuddle him or to telling him to stop whining, not being able to go running or hiking again.....I will miss watching him be with my kids. Abbi told her dad the other day that "mommy is sad because Bubba is sick". How will I explain to her when Bubba doesn't come back. How will I not cry when she asks me where he is? This is the first time I have had time to prepare for the death of someone I love......it is a strange existence. Denial helps. For now, he is well, getting spoiled, and loving us as always.......as we will continue to love him.
7 comments:
No fair posting such sad stuff! Enjoy him while he is here.
Aw Bobbi! You're making me cry! I've never reeeeeaaallllyy been an animal person. But I say that because my family never had any pets growing up. Well, we had cats, but I hated them.
Penny sure has grown into my heart and I understand how emotional this must be for you. I think he'll still be part of your family in heaven. :)
Oh I'm soooooo sorry!! Enjoy the snot out of him while you can.
Animals become family. I firmly believe that puppies have to be in heaven with us. It just wouldn't be a happy place without them!
Thinking of you guys!
Our puppy died this past week. connor hasn't got it yet. The saddest part was when he grabbed the food dish to feed our puupy. (His chore) I had to go to the bathroom and bawl my eyes out.
Bobbs - I know you know all this - but here it goes anyway....How will you explain it to your kids? Well, you'll do so the same way you face everything in life - with honesty and sincerity. It's okay to let your kids see 'ya cry. Encourage Abbi to draw lots of pictures showing different things she likes to do with Bubba and have her tell you stories for you to write down - capturing the stories just like she says them. Another friend of mine put together a scrapbook for her son full of pictures of her son and the dog....then she made one for herself, too. And as painful as all of it is - you know you would do it all again for the chance to experience the love he has so unconditionally given to you. Take care!
Oh Bobbi! I was in tears, and could read the final few sentences-the words to too blurry. My heart breaks for you.I would love to get Saxon and Koda together for a some exercise, hopefully not a 'goodbye', but a 'until next time'. He has been such a good boy. I am glad you adopted him and he has lived such a happy life with you & your family. If you haven't watched Marley & Me...I'd suggest waiting a few years ;-(
xoxo-CC
Bobbi,
Having "lost" two beloved puppies ourselves, it is one of the hardest things to live through. Rain and Storm will be in my heart forever. I believe that God puts them in our lives to show us what unconditional love is and they always seem to come and go when He thinks the time is right. My heart goes out to you. Your sister, Cindi
Well...that was the saddest thing I've read in a long time. I'm so sorry my friend. I don't know if you remember Buzzer (our Dandy-ish dog when I was a kid) but I remember when he passed my dad told me he was up in heaven running thru the sky and jumping over clouds chasing birds. Every time it was cloudy or we were on a plane I would look for Buzzer running on the clouds...maybe you could tell the girls your sweet Koda is in heaven running on the clouds.
Also...It's ok to be sad, and it's ok for the kids to see you cry over this!
Post a Comment